fandomnumbergenerator | Fetishizing homosexuality

Recently I’ve seen a number of posts talking about fetishizing homosexuality, specifically referring to m/m slash. And I’m not exactly sure what they mean.

By a very broad definition of fetishizing, where you mean any kind of sexual objectification, it would be possible to call all porn fetishizing. But that doesn’t seem to be where these posts are coming from.

A lot of it seems to be push back against the segment of fandom that is using social justice concepts and strategies in the service of ship wars (e.g equating m/m slash with real world LGBT activism and “naming and shaming” people for shipping things wrong). And, I 100% agree. Don’t be an asshole.

There were also a question about invasion of privacy in the overheard story of a man with a crush on his roommate’s brother. And the question of where media advocacy energy is focused, and whether Constantine (at least based on the original Hellblazer) is really the representation battle we want to fight.

And there are so many ways that fandom could do better. So many racist, misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic stereotypes get uncritically imported into fandom. And some really simplistic after-school-special-style ideas about drug use and sex work. But, fetishization of homosexuality?

A lot of women seem to find it easier to express their sexual and romantic fantasies in m/m erotica and porn. Apparently, a lot of women also watch gay porn. And while I think there are specific labor issues that porn actors face, I don’t think that porn creates the social ills that some porn portrays.

I guess I see fetishizing as something that is expressed in interpersonal relationships. An objectifying sexual desire that keeps you from being able to see a person as possessing their own motivations and desires. So, men who see bisexual women as a means to their threesome fantasy (and actually say that to our faces), or bisexual women talking about trans women as idealized hemaphrodite sex partners (something I saw in the early 90s), or gay men who focus on black men because of sexualized stereotypes.

But then I worry that I’m being self-serving. That I am willing to condone behavior in fandom (because it’s mostly women? because it’s amateur? because the source material is flawed? because I don’t want anyone to take my porn away?) that I wouldn’t put up with in mainstream media.