2013-09-06

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2013-09-06 04:04 pm

(no subject)

I have certainly had some very bad interactions with HR organizations – like the dick who tried to bully me into quitting heroin when I went in for a HIV test, and pretty much kept me from getting another HIV test for a few years, or when I was volunteering at a needle exchange where NO ONE was out about their history of drug use and it was standard to treat the people who came to get needles like they were sneaky children.

And what starts out as palatable spin for funders (like getting people into treatment) seems to always become the mission over time.

But I have been listening to Alan Clear’s Harm Reduction Coalition podcasts, and I think there is still a passionate group of HR people out there who really care about human rights, and who see that creating a safe, non-stigmatizing space where people can access services that they already want but were too marginalized (and also too justifiably angry and alienated) to access otherwise, can help people manage their use in a way that’s closer to what they want it to be.

I worry that user’s unions are not immune to the issues that corrupted harm reduction, that as you get bigger, you need funding and real estate and managers to make things run.  I don’t know as much as I should about VANDU, but it seems that they have a significant number of supporting members (i.e. with no history of drug use).  Although their constitution says that supporting members cannot be director, from what I’ve read about Ann Livingston (co-founder and long-term coordinator, or maybe executive director), she came out of social welfare agencies and not personal experience with drugs.  And they’ve accomplished some pretty amazing things, but would maybe not fit everyone’s definition of a user’s union, and also seem to be getting sucked into a more formalized, public health role.

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2013-09-06 04:04 pm

(no subject)

"Finally what I did was stay out all night, downing shots of tequila and watching dirty movies with my source of sex, who was getting a little tired of my intensity and thinking he had better find a nice girl and settle down. I have that effect on men, sometimes, sending them screaming back to the girl next door, a phenomenon which I regard with a mixture of embarrassment and pride."

— Emily Carter, Glory Goes and Gets Some

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2013-09-06 04:05 pm

(no subject)

"I told my parents, who were for some reason shocked and amazed, that I was a drug addict. They had thought I was simply a thief, and not a very good one.
I didn’t tell them that I had no intention of abandoning my best boyfriend, the relentless pimp-slapping love of my life; I only wanted to get well enough so I could go back to him in better shape.
So I made another crash landing, through the financial grace of my parents, this time into a treatment center smack in the middle of lake-splotched, mosquito-buzzing Minnesota summer. By this point, I had completely ceased to think of men as human. They were functions that could either confer on me the popularity, Glamour, and status that I so dearly needed, or withhold it. And even more relevant at that time, they could either facilitate my getting high or they could interfere with it, getting high having replaced the need for social anything-at-all."

— Emily Carter, Glory Goes and Gets Some

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2013-09-06 04:06 pm

(no subject)

"He was, in fact, a little frightened of me, so I treated him with extreme politeness. I wanted to get him to trust me, so I would be in a position to hurt his feelings. Not that I ever would, when it came down to it, do such a thing. The thought of hurting anyone made me sick to my stomach with shame – reminding me of the phone call to that hollow-eyed electrician, praying I hadn’t made him feel the way I now felt all the time. As Haakon had told me the day before I left for the halfway house, “You could never get tough. You’ve never had the freedom to toss your moral compass. Basically you’re still a little girl.” I swore if I was ever given another chance I would overcome this defect. No moral compass would disorient me and swerve me off the path of getting high"

— Emily Carter, Glory Goes and Gets Some

fandomnumbergenerator: i might be (Default)
2013-09-06 04:07 pm
Entry tags:

My memoir as dissertation

Goth, Grunge and Heroin Chic: Commodification of Middle Class Transgression in the 1990s
fandomnumbergenerator: i might be (Default)
2013-09-06 04:08 pm
Entry tags:

Casual sex

So, I’m never really sure what “casual sex” means to different people.

I’ve had some really nice sex with long-time friends (almost always women) because it was fun and comforting, and there was no expectation that we would suddenly start dating.

I’ve had sex with straight girls because they wanted to experiment (fun enough if we went into it sober, but with the potential to be really terrible and frustrating if it was a drunken hook up).

I’ve also had sex with people on a first date (or after just meeting them) as a way to try to figure out if I really liked them.  Which can be a problem, because, especially with men, something would set off my creepy alarm, and I would have to figure out how to never see them again.  Also, this is how I ended up dating Michael, and that was a really difficult relationship that I probably should have been more wary about getting into (but he didn’t set off my creepiness alarm).

Sophomore year in college I had a lot of pretty toxic sex where I would be lonely and want to kiss someone and then I would feel obligated to have sex when the guy got a hard on.  Which I can only put down to being young and stupid, and clearly I learned something from it, because I stopped doing it.

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2013-09-06 04:10 pm

(no subject)

This is going to make me sound like an old curmudgeon, but, seriously, Molly (and bath salts and all the other new “designer drugs”) sounds like the worst drugs ever.

When I was young, and you got bad e, it was cut with heroin or speed, which are fine drug in their own right and have been around long enough for people to know what the side effects are and how to manage them.  And neither of them will give you a fever of 106 (i.e. “temperature regulation issues”).

These new crappy, extra-dangerous drugs are the direct result of drug prohibition.  Both because there is no quality control and because in the current system, these drugs have the advantage of not being illegal.

http://mashable.com/2013/08/17/seattle-tweet-hempfest-doritos

DanceSafe.Org: Drug Information and Harm Reduction Resources