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fandomnumbergeneratorI just applied to a Memoir Incubator program. I am in a pretty rigorous feeder class for the program, which is already kicking my butt. And the Incubator, if I get in, is going to be 5 times as much work.
So I am spending a lot of time thinking about and writing about my early 20s, specifically my drug use and my boyfriend who died of an overdose when I was 24.
And the thing that I want to read in my off time is a very specific kind of Stucky fanfic. With a homeless, or maybe just feral Bucky. All those fics inspired by the credits sequence of Bucky at the Smithsonian, in a baseball cap with stringy hair and a half-grown beard.
Michael, my boyfriend, was homeless when I met him. Mentally ill and using drugs. And a lot of people seemed to think I was a good influence on him, but they have no idea how many drugs we were doing. Though having a place to live, an apartment where he had a key and where he was on the lease. Medical care and dental care. Those things were huge for him, even if they were nowhere near enough.
And there are certain fics that I keep going back and rereading, that are capturing something I want to capture about Michael and about me in my early 20s. I wish I could articulate it better, but I think it is something about home, and what it means to make a home with someone, when you feel like a feral creature.
Check the tags. There’s a lot of drug use and PTSD, and some rape and torture in these fics.
Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) by spitandvinegar
107K. Rated Mature. Canon-compliant through Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
4 Minute Window by Speranza 24K. Rated Explicit. Canon-compliant through Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Established relationship.
Murder Ballads by BetteNoire 78K. Rated Mature Canon-compliant through Captain America: The Winter Soldier. First time.
Coming and Going by Speranza for alby_mangroves 6K. Rated Explicit. Canon-compliant through Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Established relationship, and flash back to first time.
Casual Encounters byMoreThanSlightly (cadignan) 67K. Rated Explicit. Mundane AU. First time. Friends since childhood. Pre-serum Steve. Bucky is a veteran.
Critical Feline Mass by Kryptaria, rayvanfox 40K. Rated Teen. Mundane AU. First time. Steve and Bucky are both veterans who meet as adults.
Almost Like An Accident by arsenicarcher (Arsenic) for luuv2shop67K. Rated Explicit. Mundane AU. First time. Steve and Bucky are both veterans who meet as adults. Bucky is a homeless sex worker.
