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Our daughter’s pre-school is getting ramped up for the holidays with a whole series of projects and family involvement days.  And I keep trying to palm them off on Tobias, but then he doesn’t deal and I have to pick up the pieces.  One of us is supposed to do something for a school talent show, and it is certainly not going to be me.  I do not have any talents that are both G-rated and can be performed without millions of dollars of lab equipment.

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I am getting really stressed out about the holidays.  There are so many things that need to happen, and I am the one who does them.  Because I seem to be the only one who knows how to plan, though maybe I am just the only one who needs a plan.

I need to finish the holiday card, and figure out how Tobias’s family is getting up to my mom’s house from New York.  Presents and food for ten people (one vegan, one gluten-free, one dairy-free).  Two different and not totally compatible sets of Christmas traditions (and both Tobias and my mother sad that I don’t really like Christmas).  Trying to figure out how to keep my Mother from crying, or at least convincing myself that it is not my job to keep my mother from crying.  (When did I become The Good Daughter?  And how can I stop?)

Last night I told Tobias I was starting to feel overwhelmed, and he gave me this disappointed look, like, oh no, here we go again.  He is not very good at hiding what he’s thinking.  And I am too good at reading people.

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We’re going to San Francisco on Saturday to see my father and my brother for Thanksgiving, and I’m super excited.  I love being in San Francisco, even if, as many people have pointed out, it is cold and dirty.  I want to move back to the Bay Area so badly, and it is a semi-plausible plan since there are so many bio-techs there, but I really question why I want I move back.  Everybody who’s still living out there is being constantly oppressed by the rich douche bags, and I worry that I am letting nostalgia for some long gone San Francisco get the better of me.  And I would be living in the suburbs anyway, because, seriously, who can afford to live in San Francisco?