How to Make Love

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OK, so back in 1987, when I was 13, I read Valley of the Horses and that first sex scene between Jondalar and Ayla basically was my idea of How To Make Love.  It was so earnestly and cheesily graphic, but I’m pretty sure the first time I had sex with a girl, I tried that thing Jondalar does where he licks in a spiral on one nipple while mirroring the motion with his finger on the other nipple. (It’s probably a good thing she hadn’t read the books.)

For a whole variety of reasons that I only came to understand later, my mother never really told me anything useful about sex.  Like, it feels good.  Or it’s a good idea to figure out how to masturbate before you start fooling around with boys.  So, yeah, graphic pre-historic romance novels.

My girlfriend in college had read Delta of Venus when she was 9, and it inspired her to start masturbating (and move out of the bedroom she shared with her sister).  Also she had a weird fixation with sweetened condensed milk (I don’t know who Anais Nin was sucking off that she thought semen tasted like sweetened condensed milk, but whatever).

But I guess as a mother, I need to figure out what the boundaries of appropriateness are.   Like, what’s informative and what’s damaging.  My older daughter’s 5, so I have a while, but, like, at some point, the guideline of “browse the internet with your child” is just not going to work anymore.