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The men who climb into the sling to be fist-fucked are enduring the act, and they have an audience to prove that they passed the test. While many participants report great pleasure in accomplishing taking a fist up their ass, it’s impressive to note that many men report that they have to have the act witnessed for it to really have any meaning for them.

This is even more apparent when dealing with whippings. Obviously, the person being flagellated is enduring a punishment.

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—John Preston, My Life as a Pornographer and Other Indecent Acts (1993) (in an essay on the history of the Mineshaft sex club in New York) quoted in Unlimited Intimacy: Reflections on The Subculture of Barebacking by Tim Dean (2009) (Emphasis in the original)

So, I have never been fisted anally, but somehow this description of endurance and public witnessing is closer to my experience of performing with Brigit at Bondage-a-Go-Go than most of the descriptions I have read of sub-space in BDSM.  Our performances involved me stripping naked and being flogged and caned and didn’t involve dirty talk or humiliation or obedience (I actually really hated it when she called me a slut, even in private).  Having an audience meant that I could push myself to take more and that Brigit (who had a bad habit of getting stoned and sloppy) would be on best behavior.  It’s interesting to realize that this kind of endurance instead of submission was coded as more of a gay male thing. 

And may explain why, even though I was naked (and had narrow shoulders and wide hips), people seemed confused about my gender.  Also, most of the trans women who performed at Bondage a Go Go (who were older and who, unlike Brigit, often had some experience in the gay community in the 80s) were also doing performances (like being hit with 2x4s) that were based on endurance.