buffer-overrun

There were so many good and important points in the femslash discussion, but still I ended up feeling like I was going to cry. There are many kinds of criticism that I am getting better at accepting gracefully. But the idea that my pleasures are wrong, and (especially in queer women’s circles) not woman-oriented enough, hits so close to my heart. To so many fights with my ex-girlfriend about the books I read and the music I listened to. To public comment on my dyed hair, my plucked eyebrows, my shaved legs, the length of my skirt, what I like in bed, whom I’m attracted to.

Can I just say I’ll try.  Rec something you love and I will check it out. And I will try to put all my baggage aside, and not feel like I’ve failed if I don’t like it.

Don’t ask me to justify what I find so appealing about M/M slash, and I won’t pull an insulting and insufficient excuse out of my ass.  Because just knowing my desires and fetishes are socially constructed (and informed by all the worst biases and stereotypes of our culture) doesn’t mean I can dictate them. I can interrogate them, but I cannot bear to do it every minute. My world of acceptable pleasures is already so circumscribed by responsibility (to myself, to my children, to my husband, to my parents).