Work stuff

[fandomnumbergenerator]

I am absolutely melting down from the stress of trying to find a new job. Not even necessarily the job search itself, but the stress of hiding it from my (paranoid and controlling but also absentee) boss.

And the certainty that the lab I work in will come to a grinding halt if both me and my coworker leave this summer. I am so deeply conflicting about only giving 2 weeks notice. But I have already talked to HR, and I have no contractual obligation to do more than that.

I started crying last night trying to figure out how to get the time off to go to a job interview.

And today my boss just didn't show up. No text. No email. Just not here. Again.

Comments

[lou2]

My most terrible boss from years ago hated women. He used to make the most snide comments, and even though we were engineers, as soon as his secretary took vacation, he plopped all her work on our desk because we were the only 2 women who worked for him. I just took family leave and never went back. So you're already way more ethical than I ever was.

If you haven't scheduled a bunch of appointments during work recently, try the doctor appointment excuse, then follow up appointments as necessary. Ulcer is always a good one because they can sometimes be hard to diagnose with the weird pains and symptoms that go with them. And also it sounds very reasonable for you right now.

If work doesn't know a lot about your family, a family member that's dependent on you, is also something that can work.

If you have personal days, those don't have to be explained at all. Those worked for my husband.

The best option though is probably just being really honest with whoever is interviewing you. Tell them you can only interview after hours, weekends, etc. They're already gonna want to know why you're looking for a new job, so this is a great way to make them understand how truly awful your work environment is.

No matter what you do, I wish you the absolute best. No one deserves to work in an environment like that.

[fandomnumbergenerator]

Thank you!

I really want to avoid complaining about my current boss (even if it's totally true and totally deserved) because I think it will make me look unmanageable. I have been saying that my current position doesn't have enough potential for career development (translation -- my boss refuses to delegate anything and she keeps dragging her feet on the training and development goals she set out for me) and so I'm looking for a place where I can keep learning and developing new skills. The recruiters seem to be buying it. So, that's good.

I have for the most part been able to schedule phone screenings around my schedule (I work in a facility that is booked by the hour, so I have a totally neutral reason for having limited availability for phone screenings), but I got invited to an in person interview, and that's the one that's been super stressing me out.

I sent my boss an email saying I need to take a PTO day on the 6th, and got an email back saying it was OK. So at least I have it in writing. My husband has been encouraging me not to lie, because he thinks that in the long run, it will be worse for my professional reputation. But I feel like my tendency is to do anything to avoid a confrontation. So, I'm trying to navigate that.

I've been talking to both my husband and my therapist a lot in the last 2 weeks, trying to figure out why it's making me so panicky. And my therapist had a really good framing -- that my boss's particular combination of paranoia and lashing out has hijacked my tendency to take responsibility for everyone and everything around me. And that framing is really helping me to get some perspective -- wanting to be responsible is great, but it's not always the appropriate reaction.